**PSA: I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND ANYONE WITH THIS. IF YOU ARE EMO, THAT IS FINE AND I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THAT. THE PURPOSE OF THIS POST IS JUST TO MAKE FUN OF MY YOUNGER SELF BECAUSE IN MY OWN PERSONAL OPINION, I WAS SUPER CRINGY**
I don’t quite know why this happened but recently, I had the strong urge to take a deep look into my “dark” past by looking at old diaries– I mean journal entries because diaries were too girly sounding and I was too “edgy and cool” for that. In addition, I also looked at old accounts that will never ever be linked here or anywhere else because those were surprisingly worse than my journal entries (and were deleted after hours of cringe once I finally figured out the passwords). Long story short, I hate 12 year old me more than 12 year old me hated 12 year old me.
Before I rawr XD myself into the void, I thought I’d share the cringe like the self deprecating meme I am. Let’s dive in (takeabreathblowthesmokethroughtheholeinmychest), shall we?
I plagiarized fake-deep quotes from emo blogs on tumblr
Emos (*grandma voice* at least back in my day), used to post song lyrics all the time but they would never credit the artist so it somehow always got lost in translation as some deep ass “ancient philosophy.” I wonder if emos still do that now. Emos are slowly progressing so I don’t know.
Anyway, I was a huge offender of this. Oh god, I went through all the emo pictures I had saved on my laptop and most of them were just song lyrics from emo bands. Some of them I didn’t even know until months after the pictures were saved. I deleted them all because I hate my entire existence but good examples of these stolen ancient philosophies are:
“I can’t drown my demons they know how to swim” (Bring Me The Horizon)
“Fuck your pretty face, I am not your puppet” (Motionless In White)
“I think your mouth should be quiet ’cause it never tells the truth” (Sleeping With Sirens)
^^That’s just to name a few. Those are actually the ones I knew the best but I never credited the artist whenever I posted song lyrics to let everyone know I was upset. The one I used the most was “I can’t drown my demons, they know how to swim” because of course all the other emos were obsessed with that one as well. I’m not gonna lie, I still sometimes get overly attached to song lyrics and do still listen to this type of music (just not as much) but gladly they don’t make up 99% of my daily dialogue and internet posts.
I was “so cool” for being hateful
Yup. I was the kid who tried too hard to be edgy by hating on everything that wasn’t emo. Honestly, if 12 year old me met current me, we’d probably get into an actual fist fight because we’d hate each other. When I was younger, I would’ve never guessed I’d be the type of person to listen to popular Korean music (pop, hip hop, r&b, you know, the good shit) over a 30 year old man with a squeaky voice singing about how edgy and teenager-ish he is or that I’d actually rather hang out with people I like over spending a copious amount of time on the internet bashing anyone who dared say they didn’t like Black Veil Brides because being obsessed with internet is “so in” right now.
I was super judgmental for absolutely no reason because I guess being a fucking dick was edgy? I would be the type to slut shame when it wasn’t really my business to do so because that’s what the cool kids do. I “wasn’t like the other girls” except I totally was. The only difference between me and “other girls” was that I was an emo shithead and all the other emo shitheads lived anywhere but Bridgeport so the internet was my best friend because how could I possibly befriend a *gasp* normie?!? I was obsessed with being “different” without trying to be actually different because I just followed what every other emo/scene kid I saw on tumblr did and refused to accept the fact that not everyone was going to like the same things I liked.
Again, I would actually get into a fucking fist fight with 12 year old me because she’d be so damn disrespectful to me for not listening to Motionless in White for at least 23 hours a day and instead listening to Jay Park sing about his sex life. She would probably think that just because I am her 2.0 she could whoop my ass because in her naive little mind, I would be lesser. I’m not even joking; 12 year old me would be so disappointed in current me for opening my mind and focusing on being happy rather than being edgy and would actually try to fight me. Little did she know that she was an actual fucking asshole elitist with absolutely no respect just because she was “so misunderstood!!11!!111!!” That’s one of the main things I hate about emo/scene culture. They all think they’re so much better than anyone who is different than them even in the slightest but try to mask it with how they’re “misunderstood” and the “weird kids at school.” I mean, if you feel misunderstood or anything of that nature, definitely get help or talk to someone but don’t use that as a fucking excuse to be a dick to people and act like they’re all out to get you because you’re different. That’s, for one, pretty manipulative behavior and depending on how you say things, it makes you look like an asshole elitist. You are not superior because you like listening to men in skinny jeans scream into microphones over heavy guitars.
I don’t have a problem with anyone who sees themselves as emo/scene but the minute you fucking disrespect someone because they’re different when your entire fucking persona is based off of being somewhat different, I will personally lose my shit and yell at you (because violence is never the answer unless it’s self defense) because that’s not cool. Fuck you if you think you’re better than everyone else because “while they hear the screaming, I hear the meaning :3” or because lyrics in rock/alternative/metal/ect. are “always more meaningful than all those other genres.” (I’m not like those other genres!!11!1!) Every genre has meaningful lyrics and crap lyrics, you’re not special. Respect people for their differences, especially since you pride yourself in yours.
I only wore band merch and had little to no variety in my clothing choices
My wardrobe is still super boring because I still fit the same sizes I did when I was in sixth grade. I didn’t start feeling comfortable with wearing other things until I had already ruined my life with a constant cycle of shirts with bands I listen to only once or twice a month now. Fortunately, I’m going shopping soon so I can wear things that make me feel confident in my appearance and not worry about whether it’s emo enough. I was just super basic and spent too much money on stuff I’d eventually outgrow.
Sadly, I was still pretty emo going into high school so even my “branding” (if you can even call it that) on this site is emo and I won’t change it just because this is who I’m now known as and it’s just inconvenient for my readers because I feel like they won’t know who I am if I change everything.
“I’m scary lol rawr xD”
Emos have this thing where it’s edgy to not only hate everyone but to have the mentality that everyone who has ever laid eyes on them is automatically pissing their pants in fear. Just because you wear all black doesn’t mean you’re scary and everyone is worried you’ll murder them. Literally no one thinks that. Sure, you might be seen as one of those “weird kids” but I doubt anyone is worried about you murdering them just because you’re wearing a Slipknot shirt with black skinny jeans and a spiked belt. I mean, yes you technically have the power to kill someone but so does everyone else in existence. No one is really worried about anyone killing them unless they’re racist and need an excuse to kill someone (but that’s another rant for another time) or if they’re legitimately being seriously threatened. You’re not scary because you’re emo.
I guess that’s it for this post. I will probably make a part two of this sometime soon because there’s a lot more emo stuff to discuss but this post is getting a bit long so bye my lovelies. ❤